just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
