Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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