let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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