Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
