I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
