You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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