My liver just broke up with me...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
