I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize