evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
