but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Randomize
