I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
