Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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