But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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