I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
