If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
