Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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