So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
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the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
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No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude