you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
