shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".