You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.