that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
