mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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