Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
