I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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