I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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