I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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