So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
