So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my shit smells like andre
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
