Ambien. No doubt about it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I see more hoeing in ur future
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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