I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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