You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
