Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
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Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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