Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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