she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
