so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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