Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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