you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They took my balls.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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