Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
