Me. At least after what I've been through.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
