took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ketchup is God's man juice
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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