he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
