I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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