My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
