my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
