one two three fourrrrnication!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
