Barsexuality is the new black.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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