i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my being single is dangerous.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There r osticjed everywhere
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
