i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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