All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
