she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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