the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
