Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
