its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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