so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
