she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
