The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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