apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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