weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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