Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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