I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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