But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
