Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
