i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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