He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize