yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
