Pants 0. Shit 1.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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